love and marriage

I love marriage.
I'm a real advocate of it.
And I read something recently that really got me thinking about marriage.

I don't agree with the comments bandied around by many,
that marriage changes nothing.
Because despite being with my lovely man for more than five years
by the time we got married,
and living with him for three of those,
It did change things.

I didn't expect it to.
By the time we got married
I thought that we knew all there was to know about one another,
all the horrible habits,
the silly things that make each other smile.
And while we did know each other really well,
we didn't know what each other was like as a husband or a wife.
And we changed in our new roles.

Something about us being married to one another
meant that we felt like we really 'belonged'
both with each other and to each other.
Being married gave us a bond,
a special connection,
which was later strengthened by bringing a child into the world together.

I still to this day get so much of a kick
from hearing my husband refer to me as his wife.
Is that weird?
I just love to hear him say it;
like it makes me really his.

There is something incredibly safe and comforting and wonderful
about being married to someone.
Knowing that you will always be there to support another person,
as they will be there for you in return,
that somebody in the world is really rooting for you to be happy,
that somebody finds you beautiful when you are at your very worst,
that you will get to share all of life's greatest joys and greatest sorrows with one person,
and that that person will hold your hand through it all
and know just the right words to say
or when not to say anything at all.

Adding a baby to your family obviously changes things again.
You have less time to dedicate to one another,
you are tired and stressed and more than a bit terrified of screwing up,
but for us it also meant that we were sharing something unique and special to us.

Life often gets in the way of sitting back and appreciating what you have,
and my husband will be the first to admit
that he is pretty useless at doing anything that might be considered romantic,
but in a way,
that makes the small acts of kindness more significant.
Like making your husband's day by actually making the dinner one night,
or sending a text that says you love your wife and that you miss her,
or just telling someone that they are beautiful,
that you love them
and that they make you happy every single day.

The article that I read got me thinking
about the value of those small acts of kindness
and how they keep a marriage happy and keep the love alive.
But it also made me think about how fragile life can be,
how quickly it is gone,
and about the legacy that you leave behind.

I know that I will be a happy lady if I have left a legacy of love and happiness behind me.
If I do nothing else in my time on this earth
I would really like to know that I made a few, very special people feel loved,
that I have made my family happy and proud
and that my husband knows how happy he has made me
and that I am glad every day single day
that I am the girl that got to be his wife.


  1. What a lovely thoughtful poem. You are lucky to have the happiness you share together and Beautiful Boy is lucky to belong to you both. We have been together over 20 years (eek) and trust me it keeps getting better if you keep appreciating each other.

  2. Lucy this is the most beautiful thing ever. It made me cry and I have just read it out to Dad2BabyInsomniac so that he can learn why marriage isn't just a 'piece of paper'. This is so so lovely xx

  3. What a lovely post! I love marriage too! x

  4. Wowza's... this is such a beautiful post. I've got goosebumps reading it. I'm engaged to my 2nd husband-to-be and learnt so much from my first marriage, that I have vowed this relationship to be different. It really is the little things (coffee in the morning, a text here and there) that makes our relationship run smoothly. Your last verse about leaving a legacy of love & happiness has really touched a nerve, its too beautiful, and so true xxx

  5. Simply Beautiful! I too love being married and the feeling you get when you hear them refer to you as their 'wife'. It's like yeah I'm married and someone chose to commit to me. I know a few couples where the man has reluctantly proposed after years and years, bowing to pressure. It's so important that you both feel as strongly about the vows, that's half the secret :-) xx

  6. This is a lovely post and one that I would never be able to replicate as I can't write so eloquently! I adore MrR we have been together nearly 18 years and married for 11 so far. I am sure I could cope without him but I know I never want to:-)

  7. What a lovely post, I love being married too, we've been together for almost 25 years,married for 20, so I've spent more of my life with him now than without & like you, I just feel happiness knowing we belong

  8. What a lovely post hun, and I especially love the last sentence about how you are glad every day that you are the one that got to be his wife. That is too cute and I feel the same! x

  9. Beautiful hun. Your husband is very lucky to have you. I get married in July this year and would love a marriage like that x

  10. He's a very lucky chap to have you and the beautiful boy! I agree with you marriage is special. We've been married 21 years this year, we got married on our first anniversary. Best decision I ever made. It's important to make the statement and commitment of a marriage, tell the world this one is for life, this is the one I stand by through everything! Good you for you - and the rest of us!

  11. i am not marriage but you make it sound wonderful and it is lovely to read such love through your words x

  12. Wow what a post, this has honestly made me sit, look at my hubby and cast away those negativity's you get from day to day, I know exactly what you mean about marriage changing you and your relationship, I was niave enough to think it wouldn't but it made such a difference, I hope you don't mind but this shall inspire to write a post to my husband, its a while since I have done one xxx


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