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Wednesday, 18 April 2012

surprise surprise

It seems like the first thing people ask you these days
when you tell them that you are expecting is
"Do you know what you're having?"
I'm generally a bit cheeky and reply
"A baby. Fingers crossed anyway."
But of course I know what they mean.
With the progress in ultrasound technology
it's now pretty much a standard 
that you can find out what gender your baby is 
when you are scanned around 20 weeks.
And from the people I speak to
it seems like the vast majority take up the offer.


Our beautiful boy was a surprise.
Throughout my pregnancy he was fondly referred to as Dollop
because I didn't like calling my unborn child 'It'.
And I have no hesitation in saying that we will have a surprise again this time.
The baby that I am currently growing in my tummy has been fondly named Splodge
and that is what it will continue to be called 
until he or she appears and can be given a real name.

We loved having a surprise last time around
and I guess it's quite natural to want to repeat things the second time around.
I know that every parent is excited to meet their baby
but I know that for us
the anticipation of also finding out if we were going to have a son or a daughter
made it all the more exciting.

One of the most entertaining things about being pregnant
was getting to hear every ones theories on what they thought I would have based on
the shape of my bump,
the height of my bump,
how my skin was,
whether I had morning sickness.
One woman told me with absolute certainty that a Gemini mum and a Libra dad having an Aquarius baby
meant that it was most definitely a girl!
I got, quite literally, hours of entertainment out of it.
All the while knowing that I really didn't care what my baby was
as long as it was healthy.


I think of it as being a bit like knowing what your Christmas presents are before you open them,
it's still so very exciting,
but I don't think it's quite as exciting as a surprise.
And it's funny because I am a bit of a control freak at times
and most people think that finding out would appeal to me.
Believe me it does,
but after using all my willpower not to find out last time
I'm so so glad that I didn't.


There were time that we wished we had found out,
especially towards the end when I was big and fat and twiddling my thumbs waiting for my baby.
And every time we disagreed about names
my husband would point out that if we knew the sex it would be half the work.
But we survived.
And when he was actually born
despite the fact that the only instruction on my birth plan was that I wanted my husband to tell me what the baby was,
he forgot to look
and I forgot to ask,
until we were prompted by the midwife who was desperate to see our reactions.
The thing was that, actually it didn't matter.
We wanted a baby.
And that was what we had.
We love it instantly
and whether it was a boy or girl really didn't matter.

Another thing which I have heard an awful lot of this pregnancy is
"Oh, wouldn't it be lovely if you had a little girl?"
Well yes, it would.
But no more or less lovely than having another little boy.
I guess a lot of people crave one of each and that's why they say this
but I can honestly say that I will be thrilled either way.
I'd love a little girl on day 
because I would love to one day have the relationship which I share with my own mum.
But I'd also love another boy too
especially to get to see the beautiful boy with a little brother.

Maybe it's because I don't feel like this is my last baby.
I know that you never know what's around the corner
but I just don't feel 'done' yet.
I can't imagine not being pregnant again after this time.

I guess time will tell.
Splodge may arrive and complete our family in a way we couldn't imagine.
But whatever happens
our little Splodge will definitely be a surprise come September,
and we will be over the moon with our baby,
whether its a boy or a girl.

22 comments:

  1. Our small boy was a surprise and we didn't know first time with big boy either. You wouldn't believe the amount of people who forgot to say congratulations first and went straight for "try and again next time!" What a cheek! I had family who held the baby and stated they only wanted girls and a best friend who text me when she had her baby girl 5 weeks after small boy "I just can't believe I am so lucky to have a girl" I was really hurt and promptly text back well I wouldn't swap my small boy for any little girl. I see my friends who are struggling to conceive and some who have given up hope of having a second who would do anything to have the same again! You are so right boy or girl, you'll be over the moon!
    xxx

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    1. Oh my goodness. I'd be gutted if someone even suggested to me that I should be disappointed if this baby wasn't a girl. I have always loved little boys, from before I even considered getting pregnant. I love their nature and we always joked we'd be happy with a house full of boys. I'd still be happy with that if it happened.
      I think I'll prepare some quick comebacks in case it's another boy. x

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  2. Sounds like you've got a football time planned ;)

    I really wish I'd had the willpower to not find out but we ended up both changing our minds half way through the scan and begging the sonographer to tell us the sex!

    People's gender predictions make me laugh... strangers told me right up until the day I popped that I was without a doubt carrying a boy because my bump was so high, I didn't have the heart to tell them I already knew I was harbouring a girl!

    xx

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    1. We did discuss at one point about finding out and keeping it a secret. But my husband is utterly useless at keeping secrets so I know he'd let the cat out of the bag. x

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  3. I just couldn't resist finding out my Buckaroo's gender, but I think I may want a surprise next time! It takes some discipline to resist that curiosity, I imagine!

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    1. It's tough. I walked into the scan saying "Please don't tell me. Don't even ask me. I don't want to know." I wasn't sure if they asked me half way whether I'd stick to my guns. x

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  4. I loved loved loved having the surprise. But you're right, it does take a lot of patience and willpower.

    I would like to punch anyone who says 'So, you must want a girl then' when I get pregnant again. So inappropriate.


    So funny that you forgot to look when he was born. Me and my other half did exactly the same. I think it must have been a good five minutes before I even thought to check if we had a boy or a girl!

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    1. I think the fact that you didn't think to ask either just goes to show that the gender really doesn't matter. It's the healthy baby bit that is important. x

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  5. I think this is one way we aren't similar- there is no way I could not have found out what we were having! I was desperate to know! I like the idea of waiting, but I just know there is no way I could have done!
    x

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    1. Hehehe. Well we need to have some differences. Like I said, part of me was desperate to find out. But I'm so stubborn that once I decide something that's it. x

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  6. I am just coming across your blog for the first time and I am absolutely smitten! The look, the feel, the pictures... SO lovely. Thought I would say hi since I plan to stay a while. :) Have a wonderful week, sugar. xo

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    1. Awwww, thanks so much. I just had a little browse over to yours too. I'll have a proper look around over there later. So glad you like my blog. x

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  7. Although we caved and found out that Beans was a girl at the 16 week scan (I wish I had the willpower for surprises but I'm the kind of girl who shakes her Christmas presents to try to guess what's inside when no ones looking!) we kept the sex a secret between just us.
    People constantly asking 'is it a boy or a girl' is the most annoying thing. I used to answer 'yes. It's a boy or a girl' just to be slightly rude ;) x

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    1. I make the hubby totally hide my presents until Christmas Eve or I'd have peeled the sellotape off and then stuck it back. I'm terrible. But not with babies it seems. It's just one of life's big surprises and I LOVE IT!!! x

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  8. Hooray for you!! We aren't finding out either and I sat here nodding my head and smiling as I read this whole thing. We just want a baby. I do get a little weak about not knowing when I see and incredible deal on coats for next winter... and there weren't any real unisex options. But it is way to fun not knowing and meeting the little person face to face.

    So glad you found me so I could find you!

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    1. Hehehe. Yes, clothes shopping is trickier if you don't know. The shops seemed geared up for people who want to buy pink or blue. My little guy ended up top to toe in white, not that that is a bad thing in my eyes!!!
      And I'm so glad you popped over here too. Welcome! x

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  9. Oh I love that you call baby Splodge... we call our Deedle. Nonsense names are the best.

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  10. I didn't find out with any of my three and I've now got three lovely boys. I was tempted on the third but spent so much time trying to decide that the sonographer eventually said that she wouldn't tell me anyway as I obviously didn't really want to know.
    As for the great boy/girl debate, six hours after my 3rd boy was born, a midwife said to me "you'll have to try again for a girl". As I was exhausted after the birth I couldn't think of a comeback so I just smiled. So many people think that I'm missing about because I haven't got a girl. I would love another baby but it would be to have another baby. In fact, I would really love a little brother close in age to my youngest. Part of what puts me off is that I know everyone will think that I'm having a baby to try for a girl :-(

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    1. I would find that sort of attitude so frustrating. As if it really matters in the long run whether you have girls or boys. They are your children and you adore them whatever. I really think you get the family you are supposed to have and I for one would be just as thrilled with a house full of boys (or full of girls) as a house with a 50/50 split. x

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  11. I still say 100% pink you are keeping safe in there :) I found out on all mine except baby no1 I have no willpower haha I also had a boy and a girl 1st but I still wanted more infact I have gone girl, boy, girl, boy, girl and no I won't be testing to see if baby no 6 would be a boy haha

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    1. See, I'd miss out on 20 weeks of these sorts of fun comments if I found out. The poll in my sidebar is definitely leaning towards pink at the moment, but most of my real life friends seems to be thinking blue. Who knows? It'll be one or the other!
      And if I were you part of me would be itching to test the theory but then if it was a girl it would be so untidy! Hehe. ;) x

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  12. I loved finding out that D was a boy but I am tempted to not find out if and when we have a second. Not sure I have the will power but I do love the way that it annoys other people who are so desperate to know! I hope splodge is happy and healthy and perfect

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I absolutely love reading all your comments, so thanks for taking the time to leave them.

xx