a second birth story - part fourteen

In my second birth story so far;

My water broke at 11.30pm,
I booked into hospital as high risk
with meconium present in the waters.
At 4cm just before 3.30am I got an epidural,
only to be fully dilated just after 4am.
After a break to let the baby descend and the epidural wear off a bit,
I pushed my baby into the world at 6:05am.

She cried a good, clear, loud cry
and Lynne said to tell paediatrics that they weren't needed.
And we let ourselves breathe.
She was moved from the foot of the bed
up onto my stomach
as they rubbed her to clean her up
and wrapped her in a towel.
I was desperately trying to clamp eyes on her face
and hardly hearing the chorus of people;
the midwives and my husband all saying “It's a girl.”

As I finally got my hands on my newly born baby
and pulled her towards me
where I could look into her eyes,
I finally acknowledged the words from my husband;
We've got a daughter. She's a girl.”
A daughter?
A daughter!
It felt like the biggest surprise
and the most natural thing in the world.
I felt shocked,
but also like I'd always known.

Hello baby girl” I said
really looking at her for the first time.
She seemed so familiar
and yet so unknown too.
Not unlike her big brother,
but completely different too.

As the placenta was delivered and I was stitched up,
she went for a cuddle with her daddy
and as I watched him hold her for the first time,
watched him cradle her head in his hand,
and watched him lock eyes with her;
I saw him change,
I saw him fall instantly in love with her.
And in that instant I loved him more.
I had known that being a daddy to a girl would change him,
that she would hold his heart
and make him more fragile somehow,
but I hadn't expected it to be so visible before my eyes.

She came back to me
and we finally got to meet properly.
It felt strange at first
to be holding such a tiny sleeping baby.
The weight and size of a toddler felt so familiar to me,
and she seemed so teeny and breakable;
so alien in comparison.

Then she opened her eyes
and stared right into me,
like she had seen me somewhere before.
In that second I knew that I knew her too,
that she was a perfect fit for me,
the perfect fit for us.
My little best friend in the making,
and friend for life for my number one little man.

I was full of the pride and glow of having just brought a life into the world.
After all the help I had needed birthing my little man,
I felt like a rockstar for having done it myself.
And there was already a warm and content feeling falling over us.
Like with two children, we were now properly a family,
in a way that we hadn't quite been before.

As it sunk in that we were a four now
I couldn't wait to get home and get started on our life together.
I didn't have any of the fear at being let loose in the world with a baby
that I had had the first time around.
As we shared the news with family
and then with friends
and the messages of congratulations began to pour in,
we just counted down the minutes until we could be a four properly.


  1. Beautiful pictures. I love the way you describe BG Meeting her Daddy. Just magical x

  2. Just read the whole story, congratulations on the beautiful girl and for getting the birth you wanted x

  3. Aw how beautiful, and I know what you mean, two just makes you feel a bit more of a family somehow. X

  4. Stop making me cry!!!! I must remember not to read your posts at the wrong time of the month!

  5. Really beautiful, and such precious photos. x

  6. What an emotional story, us was having a little cry here at my desk, feeling a bit emotional today. Congratulations on your lovely new baby and just shows you should always trust your instincts.

  7. Ahhh how beautiful!!! You were right it was worth the wait for these pictures at the end. Gorgeous. I wish I would have had more pictures at both of my births. These are stunning she is stunning and your words are stunning.


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