mummy of two

It still feels weird to think of myself as a mummy of two.
And two under two at that.
In so many ways it feels like I only just got my head around being a parent,
But now I have two little people relying on me,
looking to me for help and guidance and comfort.
It's an awesome responsibility
and an awesome privilege.
I wonder how long it will take for me to stop having those moments every now and again
where I suddenly go,
"These two perfect babies are mine. How did I get so lucky?"

It is of course a steep learning curve
getting used to parenting two instead of just one.
But I don't think it's as steep a curve as the one I went through when I brought home the beautiful boy.
Babies aren't scary this time;
changing nappies can be done at great speed now,
getting up wind is easy-peasy,
breastfeeding isn't new or as painful:
the logistics of being a parent to a newborn aren't unfamiliar this time.

. . . But the logistics of being a parent to a newborn and a toddler simultaneously are not so familiar.

Who do I deal with first?
How do you entertain the beautiful boy while I feed the beautiful girl?
What do I do with the beautiful girl when the beautiful boy is in the bath?
Why is it that the beautiful boy is at his most noisey when the beautiful girl is just going off to sleep?
Why does the beautiful girl have to have her wide awake time just around the beautiful boy's bedtime?
All questions I'll gradually find answers to, no doubt.

When I think back a couple weeks
to before she was born,
it really does seem funny how scared I was about loving my second baby enough.
I was so consumed with love for the beautiful boy
I just didn't think I could possibly replicate it.
But I adore the beautiful girl with all my heart.
And of course I don't love my little guy any less as a result,
just like having him didn't make me love my husband any less.
The love just multiplies and grows.
In a lot of ways I love my two boys more as a result of having the beautiful girl,
because seeing how tender and adoring my husband is with her
and watching the beautiful boy gently stroke her hair and smile at her
just totally melts my heart.

The love isn't the only thing that multiplies,
I'm also carrying around a ton more of the mummy guilt.
I'm not spending as much time playing with the little guy as I would like to,
nor am I spending as much time staring adoringly at the little lady as I would like.
I have to say that it is only me making myself feel like this
as both my children seem very happy and chilled.
The beautiful girl seems happy to nap in her chair while I play cars and sing nursery rhymes,
and the beautiful boy is more than happy playing alone, or with Daddy, or watching television for a bit while I have baby cuddles.
Our little lady just fits right in
and our little man has taken to his new role as a big brother like he was born to do it.
But I guess the guilt of trying to split your time equally is just part of the fun of being a mummy to two.

I'm sure there will be inevitable trials and tribulations with caring for two children,
and I don't think for a second that it will ever be quite as easy again as it was with one.
But then if you wanted an easy life you wouldn't have children at all.

It's is more work with two, but it's not double the work,
and it is more than double the enjoyment.
Not only do I get to enjoy loving my beautiful boy
and enjoy loving my beautiful girl,
I also get to enjoy watching them love each other.
I'm not sure it's love between them just yet,
but I know it will be,
and watching that relationship and bond grow is a beautiful thing.


  1. What a beautiful written post Hun. I think w all go through the same guilt feeling when we transition from 1 to 2 I know I did and I too questioned my love for the 2nd which sounds daft now.

    In time you will stop feeling the guilt especially when you can play as a three or four including the hubby.

    So beautiful xx

    1. Thank-you. I feel more guilty for the little guy as he's used to having us to himself, but he hasn't batted an eyelid and just comes to join in with snuggles when his sister is being held. X

  2. I was nodding my head to a lot of things here ! It is hard juggling your time between the two of them and it doesn't get easier for some time yet! But as you say it will but the guilt doesn't go away!! However, the bonus is seeing the relationship between two little siblings grow and blossom. That makes it all worth while even if it does involve lots of tearing at hair moments too.
    Lovely photo x

    1. I think being a parent means that you feel permanently guilty about one thing or another. But I really couldn't be happier with how the beautiful boy has taken to all the changes. And when I have moments when I'm full of guilt, I just remember how amazing it will be for them both to have one another. X

  3. Aww as a mum of two with 16 months between them, I have just read what my life was when my second was born.
    So many questions, so much practical stuff to adjust, but the ever expanding amount of love in the house, the heart melting when the children look at each other or the eldest shows how much he cares.
    Enjoy every single minute and I can guarantee you that it gets better and better as time goes, you will never stop asking how you got so lucky. Mine are 5 and 4 now and there isn't a day I don't think that. Actually I am still amazed at how everyday I wake up eager to kiss and hug them good morning and go and tuck them into bed as I watch them sleep at night...
    Thats a beautiful post.

    1. Thanks for such a lovely comment. I wake up happy to see and hug them too, even in the middle of the night. Being a parent is fantastic but being part of a family is even better. X

  4. It's so true, the love just keeps coming! Watching the relationship develop between two very young siblings is perhaps the best thing about having a close age gap. Congratulations on your new addition :)

    1. That's what I think, that them being so close together will just make it more fascinating to watch them. I imagine in the not too distant future their age gap will feel even smaller and they'll really enjoying playing together. X

  5. How lovely and what a perfect little family you have. Treasure every moment of those early memories, they grow up so fast! I think that when they do that 'opposites' thing when one is asleep and the other is awake, it's a chance to spend quality time with just one. Especially when your newborn is awake in the evenings, it's a special time. Yes, it does mean that you don't get any time or space to yourself, but take the moments when they come and enjoy!

    1. I have been making the most of one on one time. I didn't realise how much I took it for granted before. As they get bigger I really want to make sure they both get plenty of one on one time with both me and their daddy, I want us to really feel like we know each other and get quality time. X

  6. Thats a lovely photo, and everything you write is so true-I am sure it is hard to get round the logistics but at the end of the day if you wanted an easy life you wouldn't have children. And if you wanted a life full of love you most certainly would. :) xx

    1. The logistics are trickier, but they do all seem to fall I to place. I've just been finding a way to make it work. And it'll be you soon enough!!! :) x

  7. Gorgeous photo of you all and a beautiful heartfelt post as always lovely. xxx

    1. Thanks hun. I'm loving the picture of me and my babies. It makes me so proud. X

  8. You look so happy, and quite rightly too :-)
    I found myself nodding along. Unconditional love is such an amazing feeling x

    1. It is amazing. Getting to be a mummy is incredible, x

  9. I relate to so much of this. Especially the guilt part and feeling like your toddler is missing out and that your newborn isn't been shown the attention that they deserve. Many a time I have gone off to settle the baby and Beastie has agreed to wait patiently for me, sometimes it can take a while and I return to a glum look on his face saying he is bored. I am so proud of him for being so grown up and understanding but I feel guilty leaving waiting around. I think the key most certainly is to spend quality time together as a whole but also time with each child on their own. Easier said than done but probably easier when they are a bit older. For you when beautiful boy starts pre-school you'll get that extra special time with your girl x

    1. Thanks hun. I am finding that I'm just making the most of grabbing those alone moments with one or the other whenever I can. I have fallen in love with the little guy's bathtime all over again now that I don't get to do it every night. And on the mornings when the little lady has a lay in, I love getting up and having cuddles in front of the tv with my big boy. And I think I even enjoy the interrupted sleep and evenings this time, because that's my time with the girly. X

  10. I love, love this heartfelt, honest post all so true!! Reminds me fondly of the time when I'd just had my little girl! One thing I can promise is those moments of look at these perfect things I made never really stop! I have four; the eldest is a loud and boisterous 8yr old but still when he comes and gives me a hug (and his head reaches my chest) I still feel a surge of pride and... just wow!! xx

    1. I guess being a mum means you are doomed to a life of having your heart jump up in your chest with all consuming pride on a day to day basis. I can't imagine even getting tired of staring at them. X

  11. gorgeous post and gorgeous pic lovely xxx


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