booking in

This is another of the posts that I wrote in secret
before our exciting news was common knowledge.

Today was my booking in appointment day.
It's sort of feels like the first day that you are really pregnant I think,
when you can talk really openly with the midwife about your pregnancy,
and you really start to feel like this is actually happening.
It's an exciting day.

Last time I really looked forward to my booking in appointment for my Dollop.
It seemed to take forever to come
and I'd filled in all the paper work days in advance
and my hubby had booked the day off work to join me.

This time I was really excited too,
but I'm definitely more chilled out this time
and as a result the appointment seems to have crept up on me really quickly.
I was frantically filling in the forms on the morning of the appointment
and the hubby decided against booking a day off work,
knowing full well that the booking in appointment is a paper work exercise
where you spend an hour of your life
answering questions about your entire medical history
and that of your immediate family.

So I deposited the beautiful boy at my mums
and went along to the birthing unit.
Since having the little guy
our local midwife team have moved from an old hospital building
into a new purpose built birth centre,
so I was quite excited to see what the new place had to offer.
It's definitely very slick and fancy looking.
They couldn't show me around today because both the labour rooms were in use
but they've told me to ask again next time.

In all honesty I'm pretty sure I won't be having this baby at our local birth centre,
much as I would like to support them,
and think they do a great job.
The birth centre approach didn't work out so well for me last time,
and I ended up feeling very scared and alone.
My hubby is pretty determined that we'll be going to straight to the main hospital in the next town
when the time comes for little Splodge to arrive,
and I think we probably will.
We had such a positive experience there
which we are keen to replicate.

My booking in appointment made me realise how much more baggage you carry the second time around.
Last time we were just so excited and trusted the midwives to tell us what to do when.
This time we have some experience
and will definitely be more brave and more likely to push for things to go our way.
The midwife said they will support wherever we decide to have our baby,
but did remind me that this is a different baby,
which will result in a different labour.

It did make me think that in my head I'm sort of expecting the same again.
The same experiences,
and sort of the same baby.
I find myself thinking the new baby
will do things at the same stage that little man did;
that it will have the same temperament
and will be similar all round.
When obviously it probably won't.

I asked at the appointment whether it would be possible for me to see my notes from last time,
which my midwife was very supportive of.
She said that often women have very scary memories
but looking through the notes helps them realise things were pretty routine.
I just feel like because my labour went on so long,
and because I was so out of it with pain,
that I don't really feel like I know what happened last time.
I know the end result was perfect
but hours and hours seem like a blur of me crying and moaning
with no idea what was happening.
So I've been booked in for a double appointment at 16 weeks
and she said she will go through them with me and I can ask questions if I need to.

I'm actually really looking forward to making more sense of my birth story
from a medical perspective rather than just my emotional perspective.
And it'll either make me feel a lot braver about my next labour
or it'll scare the hell out of me.
I guess time will tell.


  1. I agree ever labour is different :)

    1. I really hope so. Although I'd happily go through my long and tricky labour all over again, I'd really preferr not to have to. Hehe. X

  2. Just had a quick read through your previous labour posts (so many of them!) and wow, you really didn't have a good experience.

    Have you thought about doing hypno-birthing or hiring a doula this time around? I'm not sure if they are as popular over in the UK (I'm Canadian but living in the Isle of Man).

    It might help to ease your fears and stress this time around since you had a rough go last time. My friend that is a doctor had a stressful first labor. Second time around she did a hypnobirthing course and it helped her get over all her fear from the first labor.

    Anyways, something to think about.

    Hoping this second go is easier on you. And congratulations on #2! :)

    1. I definitely want to look into hypno birthing this time around. I've heard it raved about so much. I did yoga last time and loved the relaxation techniques but after hours of agony I found it impossible to keep it up.
      In all honesty, I think the end result far outweighed any negativity I felt about my experiences. But I think my experience and knowledge will make me stronger and more assertive next time. I want my experience last time to make me stronger and braver and not more afraid.

  3. I agree, a doula might be of great use to you - have a look at the Doula UK website


    1. A friend of mine has just finished her doula training so I'm definitely going to pick her brains about it. I'm definitely going to be blogging more about how I want to approach this labour. Last time I didn't really have a plan as such, this time I want to have a bit more of one so I can have a bit more control and not feel helpless. I'm hoping my husband might feel more empowered to help this time too, as last time he just seemed terrified. X

  4. I was just about to suggest a doula too! I have a few friends who said how fantastic it was to have one after previously having terrible labour experiences.

    It sounds like your midwife is incredibly supportive! :)


    1. My new midwife is so supportive. They've changed the service they offer since last time so I will have exactly the same midwife for every antenatal appointment which I'm sure will be fab. X

  5. This is lovely that you have blogged in secret :-) I also think writing your birth story out will definitely help you for this birth. Scary as it is sometimes we need to re visit experiences to reflect and see what we can take from it. My birth will be the same as last time minus the horrid labour bit, which I could cope with but it's just the unknown this time round...I have been more relaxed this pregnancy and you will notice that midwives don't bother with you so much but then you know more of what to expect anyway. Looking forward to more posts! xx

    1. I definitely found writing my birth story pretty cathartic and I almost sure that it helped me deal with a lot. But at the same time, it made me realise how much of the process is now a complete blur to me, so I'm hoping that reading through my notes with the midwife might help to shed some light on the bits I can't remember clearly. x

  6. Congratulations on baby#2!! I hope that you have a wonderful birthing experience wherever it may be!

    1. I'm sure it will be wonderful. I kind of think that the baby bit at the end makes anything else worthwhile. X


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