night night beautiful boy

Since I became a parent
I have lost track of the amount of times I've said
"its all flying by so fast"
or "slow down time"
or "where did my baby go?"
Children are learning all the time,
embracing every opportunity to grow and explore
and to 'get big' right before our eyes.

My beautiful boy is no exception to this.
As we look at him next to his baby sister
it's clear to see that he's come a very long way
since we brought home our tiny little man on a cold day in 2011.
He's taken to brotherhood brilliantly,
just like he's taken to everything else he's ever had thrown at him.
He never ceases to amaze us with the way he just gets on with things.

Not long after his sister was born
we took the sides off of his cot,
and he was brilliant.
He just went to bed as normal,
excited about his proper bed.
I hovered outside his door
for signs he had got up,
or fallen out of bed,
or just any indication he might need me.
But he didn't,
and I felt so proud of him.

His future big boy bed has always been in his room,
we play on it,
read stories on it,
have tickle parties on it.
And lately he has been asking to have some of his naps
in the "big good boy bed".
We went with him, took his lead and let him,
and relished the proud faces when he woke up.
But bed time has always meant a return to his "little boy bed",
at night time he always wanted that familiar smaller bed.

I know myself pretty well now,
and I know that if I build things up
then I make them worse for myself.
When he chose to stop breastfeeding at a year
I felt devastated because I hadn't been able to linger over our last feed and enjoy it.
But if I had had the opportunity to decide when our last feed together was,
then I would have found excuses not to stop,
I probably would have cried,
and it wouldn't have been the same.

So at the weekend, we just decided one day 
that it was time for him to try a night in his big boy bed.
Just like that.
The signs were there that he would be fine,
so I moved all his bedding over to the big single bed,
hoping that it would make it all seem more familiar,
and come bed time my little man was snuggled into his big bed.
Of course in his usual style he loved it.
Not a peep from him,
despite my hovering in the hall and checking him all evening.

So the following day I put the bars back on his cot.
No going back now.
The bedroom is now ready to be shared 
by my two favourite little people.
That cot is ready for another baby to sleep in it,
while its previous occupant has moved on;
graduated like the big boy he is 
to sleeping in a big boy bed.

And I'm left with that sad feeling 
that I didn't enjoy tucking him into his baby bed one more time,
that he won't sleep again in that cot bed that we lovingly picked out for him before he was born.
He kind of feels like he's officially left babyhood behind.
And I think I'm entitled to a bit of time indulging in feeling melancholy about that.

He now calls his old cot his sister's bed.
Just like that,
he's moved on to bigger and better things.
And I am so proud that like every other milestone
he's just taken it in his stride
and embraced the changes without a backward glance.

But I'm going to do a little bit of backward glancing for him,
and wonder where my baby went...

my beautiful boy at bedtime on his first night in his big boy cot


  1. Goodness, I am welling up reading this. What a gorgeous photo, and yes, such a huge step to take. I completely agree with you that sometimes these BIG changes are best on on a whim, as otherwise there is just far too much emotion!

    All of these milestones...these little people truly are just magical aren't they!

    Well done Beautiful Boy!


    1. On a whim is the best way for me. Either that or someone else making the decision for me.
      And yes, little people are simple magical. x

  2. Oh Lucy. He's just gorgeous isn't he? I always feel, because I have a boy, that I can really relate to what you say about your Beautiful Boy. I feel like my heart is in my throat and I can imagine fast-forwarding time and doing the same with William. What must have been exciting for Beautiful Boy must have been so bittersweet for his mama.

    And please - put us all out of our misery and tell us where that GORGEOUS bedding is from. xx

    1. I think that is parenthood to some degree, for every exciting achievement, there is some tinge of sadness as they move towards needing us a little less.
      And the bedding is from ikea. I love it, so bright and cheerful. x

  3. I am so glad we are not at this stage yet because as big as Dylan may seem in the day, when I tuck him up in his cot he still feels like my baby boy.

    I love the BB's bedding and he looks so gorgeous in his big bed!

    1. You wait, it will come soon enough!!!
      And he's definitely still my baby. Always has been. Always will be. Whether he likes it or not.

  4. Aw look at Baby DBB- I forget seeing photos like that just how cute and small he was! And he is clearly so good at bedtime. I really ought to try with Mads being that she is still in her cot, let alone her single toddler bed but I just can't bear too yet. He is gorgeous and you will still have lots of snuggles in his new single bed too- in fact more room for Mummy.
    When will you be putting the BG in there too? x

    1. That is the BIG upside to a proper bed. I loved the converted cot because we could sit next to each other on the bed for stories. But now I can climb into bed and get under the covers for a proper cuddle in the mornings, which I LOVE!!!
      And we aren't ready to move the littlest one just yet. But soon. x

  5. Ad he has settled so well! They do grow up far too fast! x x

  6. Bless you, I think you are right though, if we waited till we thought they were ready we would continuously keep waiting, holding them back, they know when they are ready, this is the same bed we are getting Addison I think, we were getting her the dark wood version but sold out, so now going for the white, he looks so comfy in his new bed, be proud Mummy this is you that has made him this incredible little boy x

    1. Awww, thank-you Kara. That really is what this slightly delicate mummy needed to hear. I am so proud of him, just can't believe how quickly we are ticking all these things off the list.
      And the bed is great. Fantastic for whole family book reading sessions. And the fact he pulls out to be a bigger bed is fab. x

  7. It's definitely a good thing to do things on a whim, to take too much conscious knowledge out of the equation, although I do wish I'd known at the time when I was giving Kitty her last feed; as it is, two years of nursing are rather jumbled up in my memory. Congratulations to the Beautiful Boy on his graduation to a big boy bed!

    1. I would definitely say taking all the thinking and choosing out big decisions is better, as much as it may be bittersweet. It like ripping off a plaster I guess, its hard to do it fast, but the pain is over quicker. x

  8. Awww yes it's true they grow all to fast. You're wee man is steaming ahead!

    1. He really is steaming ahead. He seems to have moved on loads in lots of areas this month, I'm hoping he'll take a couple of months break now! ;) x

  9. It is so sad isn't it - my big girl moved into her 'big girl bed' just before baby C was born and the cot is now empty waiting for baby girl. It definitely does feel like you don't have enough time to savour it.

    My big girl stopped feeding at 1 year too and I was so sad I didn't have much chance to linger and savour a last feed - but as you say I may not have been able to stop!

    My two are 17.5 months apart. Are yours similar?

    L x

    1. Ahhh, its so nice to know I'm not alone going through all these things. My two are 19 months apart, so yes, not too dissimilar. x

  10. Beautiful post. I'm trying savour every moment as they grow up far too fast

  11. The picture of him on his first night is just gorgeous. I'm glad he has moved into his big bed successfully everything seems to go so quick when you become a parent but it will be lovely to look back on all these memories x

  12. Awww what a lovely post. Sometimes you just have to go for it even if you don't want to but you know your kids are ready. It's a strange feeling, seeing them grow so fast and reaching these milestones that you aren't quite ready for them to reach yet. Just shows how much of their own little person they are even though you made them.

  13. Ohh lovely post. My baby sleeps on her own room, its been doing now for some month now, and it stills feel like its just to far away from me!

  14. Such a lovely post. I am doing this all the time & I am feeling a bit desperate at times. I was crying yesterday at the thought of my 13 year old leaving for university! lol


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