a birth story - part seven

In my birth story so far:

my waters have broken,

my contractions are three minutes apart,

I've been to hospital,

I've been sent home,

my contractions have got worse,

I've gone back to hospital,

but things aren't progressing very fast

so they want me to go home again.

I was scared about going home.

I was scared about the amount of pain I was in.

I didn't feel like I could cope with much more,

and I was starting to feel really tired.

And I am not a person who copes very well with being tired.

I was offered a morphine based drug that could be used for early labour.

The midwife explained that it may help me with the pain

and would without doubt help me to calm down and possibly get some sleep.

I had been adamant through my whole pregnancy

that I would not take drugs that would cross the placenta to my unborn baby

so I refused.

But when she left the room to get my notes together,

my husband asked me to reconsider.

He hated seeing me in this much pain

and as there was clearly a way to go yet,

he was concerned that I needed some rest.

He also thought that I was being stubborn

and that I needed to let go of my dreams of a labour with only water and entonox for pain relief,

but he didn't tell me this till afterwards.

So I agreed to the pain relief.

By the time I was back out in the carpark I felt calmer and sleepy.

I was still in pain but I didn't care as much.

I was chilled.

I was out of it.

I can quite imagine I was feeling what it must be like to be stoned.

At home, I passed out on the sofa at about 8.30pm.

Don't get me wrong, I didn't sleep.

I was aware of having contractions but I passed in and out of consciousness,

using breathing to get through the cramping pains.

Until 11pm.

At 11pm I was wide awake and in agony.

I was on our lounge floor on all fours moaning in pain.

Needless to say this woke up my hubby,

who looked instantly concerned.

He asked me what I needed and what I wanted him to do.

Did he need to ring the hospital?

Could he help in any way?

What was happening?

Without words I managed to signal that I wanted to stand up.

And it was then,

as my hubby helped me to my feet,

that it hit me.

An unmistakable urge to push. 

"I want to push. I need to push," I quietly moaned

and my husband was on the phone as quick as lightening.


Read the next part here.