me and you {june}


Relationships change over time
from the initial butterflies and romance,
to a more comfortable and safe thing
where you can happily exist alongside one another.
But I think the foundation of our relationship,
the thing that has remained throughout,
is that we are best friends.

We spent a large proportion of the earlier times in our relationship
sustaining our bond with phone calls alone,
with weekend visits for a couple of days as and when we could afford it.
During that time we had to get really good at talking to one another,
and as a result we really cherished the time we got to be together.

Now that those days seem like a long time ago,
its really easy to forget how much those long distance days made us grow as people
and realise that we'd found the right person in each other.
We are often guilty of not properly talking for days on end now,
not asking each other the tough questions,
the simple questions,
or worse not listening to the other's answer
and not fully enjoying the little moments in our shared lives.

But a few weeks back I had a big birthday,
and my husband went all out;
planning a surprise weekend for the two of us in London.
And it was just the kind of reconnection we needed.

I was actually a little worried
that we wouldn't know how to spend such a long time
with only each other for company
and no children to talk to and entertain.
It's been such a long time since it was just us.
What did we used to talk about?

And I honestly couldn't tell you what we talked about for those two days in London...

...But we talked a lot.

The entire time practically
(except when we went to see a west end show
- I kind of think they frown on that kind of thing)
we just talked about everything and nothing.
About the children of course,
but also about what we love,
what we feel passionately about,
we watched the world go by,
people watching
and laughing at the big characters that London is always full of.

And while I had been sure I would be desperate to get back and see the children
I actually didn't want that time with just the two of us to end.
It was good for us to remember all those things we love to do together,
to just be husband and wife for a bit,
and not Daddy and Mummy.
And to remember that investing time in us matters,
because while the children are the centre of our world,
we are the centre of our family,
and we are what will be left
when the babies fly the nest.
And we want to have set a good example for our children to follow.



Apologies that Me and You is a few days late this month.
I quite literally COMPLETELY forgot about it.
We have so much going on at the moment;
back to back weekends away, holidays, and days out in-between
seem to have fried my memory.

But it's here now.
I'm not sure if the other cohosts are all joining me this month,
it seems that we are keeping a lot of balls in the air,
but please pop by their blogs and say hi,
and link up any couple photos you have from this month.

Ar Blog | My Two Mums | Tigerlilly Quinn
dear beautiful


18 comments

  1. This post had me welling up... This is beautiful... Stunningly, honestly beautiful. This is SO true... All too often society simply celebrates the butterflies and excitement, and portrays that "happy existence" as something to be mocked and disdained. It's the friendship which is the solid, immovable foundation on which our whole families are built. Thank you so much for writing this and helping me to cherish my marriage more today. Lovely to meet you at the weekend.x

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    1. Thank-you. Your comment has made me a little teary actually. I'm so glad you could associate with it, and I agree, we should celebrate the safe and happy existence of marriage, even if it is a bit boring at times. x

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  2. Beautiful post. Friendship is definitely the foundation on which families are built. Glad you had a lovely weekend with your husband. Lovely to be able to join in with you - trying to make sure we get time together for a monthly photo of just the two of us is reminding me of how important it is to focus on being a couple rather than just mummy and daddy so thank you for helping us do that!

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    1. Oh I'm glad that you've enjoyed joining in. It's so important to take a bit of time once in a while to reconnect I think. Our friendship is so important, but its something we have to be sure to work on. x

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  3. Ahhh Lucy this is so beautiful and I know we talked about it this weekend (when I finally got to meet you hurray) about how it is so great to start a relationship with the bonding and learning to communicate first with distance between which makes it so much stronger! This is so beautiful written, I am so happy you have your forever person and are so very close to each other. That's what its all about. If Mr P would let me take his pictures I would join in. Sorry.... but I love your post nevertheless. So beautiful just like you!!!

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  4. Oh that made me all teary, being married to someone you love so much and your best friend is awesome. Your weekend sounds awesome, I love spending time with my hubby just the two of us can be so rare. Thanks for running this linky we always have a laugh taking the photo! x

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  5. What a beautiful post, it is very true that you need that time together to remember that spark that you both had together. It is so important, we went together a few months ago for our first night away since our twins were born 5yrs ago and it was perfect. We were just us again and all those lovely close feelings and spark comes back straight away. Thank you for such an honest post as well. In our stressful month it was great fun to try and capture our photo this month! It gave us a well needed giggle!

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  6. Such a beautiful post. I love that quote. It's so nice to have that time alone together. What a lovely Husband you have, surprising you like that for your birthday. x

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  7. Both your words and the surprise of a weekend away are so lovely. I know it always sounds a little twee when people say they married their best friend but I know that I really truly did. Like you we spent a good few years using up all the free minutes on our mobile phone allowances and whilst I'd rather have been living in the same county, it did give us the time to chat which is sometimes lacking nowadays. I'm linking up this month with a very rare shot of just the two of us - it felt so strange taking a picture without the children in it - and even then it's slightly tongue in cheek!

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  8. I really enjoyed reading this post Lucy. The very rare time that I get alone with Mr E is funny because it is almost like we have forgotten what it is like just to really talk to one another. It's not very often that it happens but when it does I do treasure those times and not want them to end. Although being a Mum is the best thing in the world, I like to remember what it is like to just be us every now and again too. x

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  9. I so know what you mean about reconnecting! I feel like our time in Paris (although with Wilf) really helped us do that too, and it's SO important. Next step - time alone! xx

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  10. This is such a beautiful post. Lovely photo as well! I am guilty of wishing for future times so it's good to be reminded to cherish the here and now before we have children and to make the most of just being us.
    It seems like everyone is so incredibly busy at the moment. I have had to spend some time re-evaluating priorities because life has been manic. Let's hope it settles down soon.

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  11. Aw, so beautiful. I can't wait for a weekend alone with my husband. We haven't had any alone time since we became parents and we really should.

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  12. Beautiful post Lucy, we felt the same last year when we went to Venice for our Anniversary without the kids, it was like we didn't know what to talk about besides the children but it really helped us to reconnect and appreciate what we have.

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  13. I couldn't agree more with that quote at the beginning -that's how I feel about my husband Greig too. I'm so glad I finally got around to joining in with this great bloghop :)

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  14. What a beautiful post, the last paragraph made me well up. It's so true and often the forgotten part, that it's about the foundations. Love love love it! Glad I managed to link up in time too...totally forgot about it with BritMums being on the cards x

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  15. Having a partner in the forces I know exactly what you mean! he had a posting in London recently and I was so terrified of having him live with me 24/7 for 6 months, now it's over it was the best period ever and I will miss it so much. Finding time to reconnect and talk is so important and it's great to be with your best friend :) Glad you had fun!

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  16. So lovely, sounds like that time just the two of you was just what you needed. As our children get older I find it gets a little easier to remember who you were before Mummy & Daddy! Me and my husband have been together since we were so young, we've grown up together, done the long distance thing, wrote letters and we are guilty of not really talking properly, yet when we get the chance to go out together it can be just like I'm sixteen again! I'm so glad you enjoyed it and got that chance to just be together xx

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