dear beautiful wylder {one month old}

Dear Wylder,

Oh baby boy, this has been the fastest month ever. It doesn't seem possible that so much time has past already, since you came crashing into the world in such a hurry on April 25th. I feel like we've just about recovered emotionally from the craziness of your wild arrival; although I think you'd better prepare to have to hear that story a lot as you grow up. There aren't many people who can boast being delivered at home by their daddy though. It's something that parents tend to say a lot but it feels like yesterday you arrived, while at the same time it feels like you've been a part of our family forever. It seems impossible to imagine our lives without you in it now.

That's not to say that it's been all sunshine. You do seem to struggle a little bit with wind at times, and - while you're breastfeeding well - you can be a bit of a lazy latcher; sometimes it's like you just expect the milk to appear in your stomach by magic. But things seem to be settling down a lot as you grow, and as we find our rhythm together. You did lose a bit of weight initially (unlike your greedy sisters who gained from day one) but you've now regained it, and then some; so we must be doing something right. 

There is also nothing quite like the guilt I feel when you are upset and just want to be held, but I have to do something for one of your older siblings first. I honestly hate to hear you cry, it makes me so anxious that it physically hurts sometimes. But then all I have to do is see you with Dylan, Everly or Quinn to know that the love and attention you get from them more than balances out the times when I can't give you the full attention that I'd like to. 

You are a little gem of a baby though. You certainly have your night and day the right way around, and do your longer stretches between feeds overnight; and you always settle back to sleep after night feeds. We are swaddling you at night, and you definitely seem to like that. And we are also using a white noise machine which seems to really calm you. In fact I think you already know when you hear it that it's time to go to sleep. 

A new development lately, as you've approached the month marker, is that you are more awake at certain times during the day now. It's lovely to see your beautiful eyes open and taking the world in a bit more. We're all a bit obsessed with speculating about your future eye colour, and whether they'll turn brown like Dylan, Everly and Daddy, blue like Quinn, or green like me. My money is on a lighter colour, but I'm not sure just yet. I guess the coming months will tell us. 

Bath times are your favourite. You seem to absolutely love soaking in the warm water. It calms you if you're upset, or you'll kick your legs all excitedly at other times. But it's certainly a happy place for you. Coming out of the bath... not so much!

You aren't quite smiling yet, but you are really thinking about it. You'll stare at our faces so intently, almost like you want to smile but haven't quite worked out how yet. I'm so excited to see those first grins, and to see your personality develop and shine as you grow. 

Without a doubt you are the missing piece that our family has been waiting for. You are just the perfect fit, and we are all just so happy and proud to have you in our six. Having you in the house just makes the love grow so much. We all love you so much, and seeing how everyone dotes on you makes us love each other more too. 

I'm not sure I'll ever get used to the lucky feeling I have at knowing you're mine. I'm just so proud. And so very in love with you little man. You've without a doubt completed our family, and I feel so very very blessed. 

We love you so much Wylder. Thank you for being ours.


Your first month in photos...

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