anonymity


I've always been quite fierce about guarding my children's names and keeping them a secret. It is something I first started doing when I very first started blogging. I guess to some degree I've always been pretty wary of the internet, and I felt that I didn't want my baby son's name to be "out there". I'm honestly not entirely sure what it was that made me make that decision, but once it was made I went with it. 


He went by a variety of pet names that avoided me ever needing to use his real name; "beautiful boy", "little man", "son", "him", "little dude" and so on. As my blog grew and my readership with it people would occasionally ask his name in comments, which I always just ignored them. I thought maybe it was a bit creepy that people wanted to know my little boy's name so much... what was it to them anyway?

And as time went by I did wonder why was being so secretive about his name. Especially considering how from the very start these pages were all about sharing his story and lots of photographs... of him! His face would have been ridiculously recognisable to any blogger who had ever seen my blog. And I also really liked knowing the names of other blogger's children. People who read parenting and lifestyle blogs are inherently nosey I guess. 

His sister came along and I carried on with the whole "anonymous" thing, simply because that's what I had always done. It was hard when she was born actually, because a massive part of announcing a birth is generally announcing the name too. People were so excited to hear she had arrived and I was actually quite bombarded with questions about her name. I felt weird and ridiculously secretive as I would say "I'm not telling" to people who had followed the entire pregnancy story. This happened all over again when the littlest was born. And I actually spent a large majority of her pregnancy wondering whether we should just announce her name when she was born. 

Add to that the fact that during my second pregnancy I started attending blogging events, and try talking exclusively about your kids without using their names when you're talking face to face with people. It's impossible. And I never have done that. Meet me in the flesh and I talk about my kids using their names, because I would look a total idiot calling them "my beautiful boy" and "my beautiful girl" and "my beautiful littlest".

The thing is, my children aren't anonymous really. Because anyone who has read my blog more than a couple of times could probably pick them out of a line up with no trouble. Their faces are all over this blog, all over instagram and twitter and facebook.

For a long time now I have thought about "outing" my children's names. 

There, I said it.

I'm not sure why it's ended up becoming such a big thing in my head. I guess because it's a change from what I've alway done, and change always feels weird.


It just seems like over time some of the reasons I didn't share their names have become obsolete. I wanted them to be able to deny all knowledge of this blog if they wanted to when they grow up... but could they? Has it already gone too far for that really? And have I ever written anything that they would really want to deny? If you did a good google I'm pretty sure you could find their names if you really wanted to (although please don't because thats just weird!!!) so I just being silly attempting to keep that one last thing that makes up their identity - their names - a big secret.

I did it to protect them, although I'm not sure how much it really does protect them really. I guess our nightmares as parents often revolve around the idea of stranger danger and not wanting a load of people to know all about our kids... but I blog, so my kids are out there, people know their faces, we've been recognised when we've been out for the day on more than one occasion. And I don't think twice about shouting their names (occasionally like a total fisher wife) when we are out at the park in front of lots of people I don't know, who are actually in physical proximity to my kids.

The reality is that I think a ton of people reading this blog probably already know what my children are all called. (Hello family, real life friends and anyone who has ever met me at any blog event ever!)

So is it really such a big deal to keep it a secret...?

And basically the answer is that I really don't know. Rich and I have talked about it on more than one occasion over the years, and he's happy either way, and I think I am too. 

There are actually a lot of times as a blogger when not using their names annoys the hell out of me. We have toy boxes with their names on, they have big name signs above their beds, and on their bedroom walls... all these have to be carefully edited or cropped out of photographs. And as my children talk more and more, and we vlog more and more, I have already lost count of the amount of cute clips I've had to mute or not use because they either say one another's name, or we say their names to get their attention, or there is something with their name on in the background. 

When we are already sharing so much of their lives, is it a big deal to share their names too? Or is that not for me to decide? Will they hate me later?

Basically my ramblings are heading towards asking all of you lovely people reading this what you think. I know bloggers are pretty split on this; some use real names, some use nicknames, some use initials. And I would really like to know your reasons why. 

Why do you do it the way you do? Do you wish you'd done it differently? And why? I just want to know your thoughts really, to add to the swirl in my own brain. 

59 comments

  1. As someone about to launch a blog for work purposes, this post and your thoughts interest me hugely. As a journalist by trade I'm used to running children's faces in newspapers, with their names, every week Even my own children have made the odd appearance - particularly since my oldest started school in September. I've also spent a lifetime persuading people to be quoted/photographed/appear in a story.
    But yet, me actively throwing my kiddies names out there, on the internet week in and week out makes me nervous although I've got no idea why. I can't recall a story about very young children appearing on the internet, but not old enough to actually use it, being groomed through it. A stranger at the school gates, able to very quickly work out my children's names as I plead with them not to tear down the alley without me, is probably more of a threat to their safety.
    Would you feel happier if you used their first names, but found some way to remove your surname from the world wide web to keep them just a little more anonymous? And stop future employers/universities having a shifty google!?
    I think it perhaps sometimes has more to do with what you're comfortable with, and whether holding back their names, keeps a small element of family life away from the camera.
    Me? I'm still undecided. I look forward to reading what others have to say! xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's kind of it. I do it to protect them, but I'm pretty sure using their names wouldn't put them in any more danger than on any normal day. x

      Delete
  2. It is such an interesting subject, our boys are older and I asked them what they preferred on day one and they chose for me to use their names. But its personal choice isn't it? But like you say I bet it is so hard no to use their names x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think, knowing my older kids like I do, that neither of them would be bothered by their names being used. They're growing up in an online world, so I don't think their generation will be as cautious as out the web as we are now. x

      Delete
  3. Oh it is a hard one. I started with real names and then changed to anonymous ones. My main reason for this was so that if someone Googled their name loads of my stuff wouldn't come up. At the end of the day it wouldn't take them long to work out their names if they really wanted to. My name is on there at the end of the day. x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This was my reason... Google! I kept thinking how one day when they apply for jobs their future boss might google them and find this blog. But then I don't think I've ever posted anything that would embarrass them, so would that really hurt. And that's so far in the future that who knows what technology will be like by then. x

      Delete
  4. I think there are two separate issues here. 1. Do you care about people/strangers/etc knowing their names? And 2. Do you care about how searchable they are on Google, leaving a digital footprint, etc?

    For me personally, I have no issue with no. 1. And yes, I think you are right that it is really easy to find out the real names of blogger's children - family members social media accounts are a complete liability for this, for instance.


    Point No 2 is the one I care most about. I am not particularly comfortable that my blog comes up if you search my children's first names together. I think this makes it very easy for school friends etc to find the blog and for potential teasing to happen. (I'm thinking ahead to the later years of school). l have thought many times about changing my children's names on the blog (I'd probably give them new 'real' names rather than nicknames as I think it reads a lot more naturally and throws people of the scent that they are 'fake' names. BUT...how do I go about changing everything on Instagram? A practically impossible task. And why about YouTube? How confusing would it be for the kids if I start calling them different names? Seems there isn't a straightforward answer to this one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I absolutely agree, there are definitely two parts to the issue. And like you, I'm not bothered by the first point. I think initially that was my big worry when I started and why I was anonymous with their names, but as time has passed I don't feel it's really an issue. But as I've become less bothered by the stranger danger thing, I think I've become more concerned about their digital footprint and how googleable they are. Although something tells me that their attitudes to this will be different entirely when they are older because they are growing up in such a digital age. I also suspect that as I don't ever write anything I wouldn't be happy for them to read, that maybe I don't need to be so worried about the search ability of my content. Oh, I don't know....!
      And I agree, fake real names or using their middle names had crossed my mind, but I'm not sure it would make life any easier really with regards to editing their names from photo and video. x

      Delete
  5. I've used Zach's name from day one, but as his father and I aren't currently married so his surname isn't linked to my blog. When you google his name it doesn't come up - which somehow makes me feel happier about the situation. It is really easy to find his surname, and I'm sure in time if we got married things would change, but for now I'm happy using his name openly xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A few people have pointed this out to me over the years when discussing why they were happy to use names. I guess it is a bit trickier when you're married and people can so easily know your child's full name. I do think it would comfort me to know that even if I was using the kids names, that they weren't fully identifiable. Which is silly considering that their faces are probably full identification enough. x

      Delete
  6. This is such an interesting post, Lucy. I've used my children's names from day one, but probably more from not really thinking about the future- I had no idea I'd be blogging this long and love it, nor did I think i'd be working with brands who have used the children's names many, many times, to goodness knows how many readers. To be honest, I don't mind using them now, even though I had a wobble a while back.I think children are so 'out there' online these days and so many have an online presence that it's not a big deal anymore. And I'm not particularly worried about online grooming or 'stranger danger'. If people REALLY stalked, they could find out roughly where we live, but I'd never say or show in photos which school or preschool they go to. Again, not from 'stranger danger' as the kids are always with me or family, but that tiny chance of some stalker loon knowing where we ALL live, not just the children.
    To be honest, I think what's more important when it comes to blogging/children, is not necessarily showing photos/revealing names, but WHAT we write about them. Freddie and Sasha get many benefits to me blogging, but I always make sure that if I write anything about them/featuring them, it's nothing that they could be embarrassed about at school in a few years, and I suspect as they get older the level of detail I write about them will rapidly decrease. So I would still feature them in holidays/trips/events posts, but not their thoughts, feelings on things, or personal stuff. x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's definitely true that if people really wanted to stalk and find out our names and addresses in then they probably could. But I guess I'd say that I feel pretty safe with that, and I don't think the kids are in any more 'danger' than if I didn't share our stories online.
      And I've always worked on the basis of never sharing anything that I wouldn't be happy for them to read or see one day. As you say, they have had a lot of benefits from it over the years but as they grow I think it probably will be less about them and more about me, or about us as a whole family. x

      Delete
  7. It's definitely an interesting one and there's such a varied degree of opinion in the blogging world. I actually told myself I would never put pics of the boys up and I break that rule very very regularly, with great enthusiasm sometimes. I think I'll always hide their names but I do use their real ones on my personal Facebook. I do have my own made up names in my mind for your little ones (I hope that doesn't sound creepy!) :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Personal Facebook can actually be a big part of the issue for me, because I have some close blogger friends on my personal Facebook and I'm now a bit wary of using names on there because I'm never sure what pops up in the newsfeeds of other bloggers I don't know when mutual friends like or comment on things. I wonder whether if I just used their names and stopped trying to make it a secret, if I'd actually feel happier and more relaxed. x

      Delete
  8. Very interesting post and comments too! I've always used my children's names from the beginning, because I only ever imagined my Mum reading my blog and it would have been strange for her to see other names. Looking back I do wonder if I should have used alternative names but it's too late now. I am very careful not to pair their first names with their surnames in writing, so neither they or my blog comes up if their full name is googled, or at least not at the very beginning of searches like mine does, and they don't have common names. I do blur out the name of their school if I put a photo of them in their school uniform, although it's probably not that difficult to find out where we live.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I don't think I would use their first and surnames together either, to prevent their full names in google pointing to the blog. I'm always very conscious of keeping school uniforms out of photos too, I remove logos or simple make them change out of their uniforms if I want to take photos. I guess it's all about finding a balance between sharing openly and being a little safety conscious too. x

      Delete
  9. I've been doing the same as you. I guess purely out of some odd sense of need to the kids. Although I'm quite sure when they grow up, it's their face they'd rather I'd concealed. So why...I don't know! If I thought about it too much my head would explode! x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well thats it, I think if they have any issue with my blogging when they are older, then it will have been about photos, not their names. But then I also think that they have and will continue to grow up with it, so they just won't have ever known any different so probably won't be that fussed. x

      Delete
  10. This is a really interesting post. I don't why I decided not to use their full names on my blog instead just using their first initial. Then we went to Florida and did our vlogs and you can hear their names being said throughout so I guess we don't purposefully set out to not reveal their names. I think, if anyone wants to find you badly enough then they will find ways to do it. x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think that's it, people probably could find out if they really wanted to. And I'm starting to think that all the faff about not using their names is really worth it. We're sharing their stories anyway, so why not their names too. x

      Delete
  11. Such an interesting post Lucy, and something I think about often too (though I think I'm way past concealing names now!) I've just gone with being totally transparent from the start, although I am particularly secretive about where specifically we live and school badges and things like that. Northern Ireland is a tiny place, and it wouldn't be difficult for someone to track you down if they really were inclined, but I think using anonymous names wouldn't necessarily help with that. As you say, our faces are all over SM and the blog, and my name is there too. It's a hugely personal thing though and I think choosing what you are comfortable with is just the key. I've just recently started to use my husband's first name and it felt a bit odd at first but I figured the rest of us are on first name terms, about time he was too! ;) xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha, Rich was "the Mr" and "the hubby" for a long time, and it drove me insane. Then I realised I'd never actually asked him what he thought and I'd just assumed I should protect his name as I did the kids', when I asked he really didn't mind in the slightest. In fact he said he'd rather be known by his name than as "hubby" or "Mr". I'm quite protective about where we live, and always refer to our nearest town instead of the village we live in and always blur out school logos. But I'm just wondering if protecting their names is just a bit unnecessary. x

      Delete
  12. I love this post as I am having this debate with myself too, I have only been blogging a little over a month and I too don't use my daughters names but also don't really know why. Everyone around us understandably knows their names and anyone stumbling across personal social media accounts. I think it's a generational thing as they probably won't even bat an eyelid when they become old enough to have their name out there or not. It's so hard to predict the future and we only want to do what's right for them don't we? I am so proud of their names I feel like I want people to know and not sure why I'm holding back or that maybe I'll just use them too. Sorry I have no answers do I but you're not alone. Good luck with whatever you decide. I'd be excited to find out if you did decide to share! Xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're almost definitely right... I don't think they'll bat an eyelid at being online as they grow and realise what that means. They are a totally digital generation where sharing online will be the norm instead of more of a newer thing like it is at the mo to some degree. x

      Delete
  13. When I first started blogging I used pseudonyms, but my best friend said 'why you doing that?', I told her, that's how it's done haha. She said that it made no sense, so I just gave up. I'm very careful not to give away our location so much, and not use our surname anywhere. Although again if you wanted to you could find that out. Isis name is so distinctive her friends found her on youtube without needing our handle. I guess I just don't want their full names to be googlable (is that a word?) but other than that. I couldn't imagine having to edit so much out, that would drive me mad, but if it's something you want to keep doing then you should. You and Rich will know what's best :) x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think it's definitely all about finding the balance that feels right for your own family. I think in all honestly that I'd happily share their names, I'm just concerned I'd regret it later for some reason (I'm not sure what that reason would be though!) x

      Delete
  14. LP and Little Man are that to me now whenever I write my blog - although their names, Athena and Troy, are on my about page and I often use them in conversation online, just not in the blog day to day - although I have reviewed a lot of personalised things in the past. I think having name for your children online, that aren't their actual names is the done thing really. I don't think we've ever met properly but I'm sure I know your eldests names from publicity surrounding you being up for an award at some point - you can't keep the media from mentioning anything! Carry on as you are - Beautiful Boy and Beautiful Girl will always be that to me x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes I definitely know your two as both LP and Little Man and as Athena and Troy. Yet another reason why I'm thinking I don't need to be so crazy about keeping their names secret. I think the issue is rising it's head again for me because I now have two beautiful girls, and it's making it infinitely harder to explain who I'm talking about at times, and I'm sure it will be even harder when the littlest stops being a baby. x

      Delete
  15. I totally get where you are coming from with this and it's a very thought provoking post. As you know, we share a real life friend, and I have to be honest and say that as soon as I found out you'd had your beautiful little lady, one of the first questions I asked was what you'd named her (I love your choice by the way). That said, I would never use them when talking to you online as I respect your decision to not use their names. I use Alfie's name on my blog - I don't have any readers though ;) but I love that you call them BB and BG and your beautiful littlest. I think it is down to personal choice. You've already got so much of their lives online and I don't think sharing their names would make much difference in all honesty - as someone said above, I think it would be more likely their faces they would want to hide rather than their names. I remember the time you tweeted that BB had just written BG's name all by himself but you couldn't share the picture, so in that respect I think it would be easier to share their names, but it's got to be what you feel comfortable with. xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, see this is exactly it. And I would be the same. I would be desperate to know what the baby was called too. I think that the lines between my online life and my life-life are getting hazier lately as more and more real friends and family follow online and I'm constantly deleting comments with their names in from people who know them and just haven't thought about it.
      And I agree, their entire lives are online, so it really wouldn't make so much difference to share their names too really. And it would probably make my life a little easier if I did. x

      Delete
  16. I totally get where you are coming from. I use my children's name on my blog as we vlog and it's pretty hard not to say their names when on video. I think it's surnames you need to be a bit more careful with. I have seen your children's names in a magazine, totally forgot them already though haha so I don't think it's a bad thing to use their names on here. I think it's just what you feel comfortable with :) xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They've popped up in magazines a few times now, and thats part of what got me thinking about it. I don't have an issue with their names being in the press, and is a blog really all that different? x

      Delete
  17. I have been been having a similar debate myself, but I use real names and have been considering for a while to swap to initials or nicknames. The problem is it would be a huge task to change all their names now, and I think i would struggle to remember to use their nicknames. I am careful not to mention their full names together so its not 'googleable' and it doesn't leave a direct digital footprint. I am careful not to name our town or their school. I don't think anyone except my friends and family read my blog though ;), and we are definitely not recognizable, and I am not sure how I would feel if we were xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, going back and changing their names in everything would be a big pain. But it is that googleable thing, isn't it? And I would hate them to be cross about it down the line. x

      Delete
  18. A couple of thoughts for you, at a certain point in my life I was very Googleable (it's a long story) but a few years on and that stuff has totally vanished. Yes it's technically out there for "forever" but you only need someone who shares your name to be more active online than you for you to fall down the Google rankings. (cause we all know about SEO and pagerank blah, bah) so the chances of an employer being able to find out what your kids were doing 10 or 15 years before, next to zero. The chances of them finding what your kids post for themselves as teens? Maybe. As for the now, well I tend to believe that the things we worry about most are not the things that end up causing us trouble. To quote Baz Lurhman "The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind. The kind that blindsides you at 4 p.m. On some idle Tuesday" (If in doubt I refer to "Everybody's Free" for all my guidance)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So so SO true. I think I'm inclined to overthink these things, when really, we have no idea whether any of this would even be an issue when they are older... or if they'll even care. And I LOVE that song. x

      Delete
  19. Oh Lucy... I hear you! I have thought through this so many times...to be honest, when I started out, I didn't really think anyone, others than my immediate family, would read it, so I happily chattered away using Ava's first name without giving it any thought. I couldn't really ever have imagined how many people would one day be stopping by my space every day! It's definitely a dilemma. I have worked hard, however, to keep our surname secret. Every reference to me just uses my first name, and I also have made sure where we live is under wraps... So local events, school uniform and that kind of thing are not featured. I do think it's important to keep something anonymous... To keep privacy etc, but it's definitely a tricky one. And I'm not sure there's a wrong or right answer!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you're right, there isn't a right or wrong answer. Or rather those right and wrong answers would be different in every different circumstance. I'm protective about where we live too, and will always continue to be. x

      Delete
  20. I think Chloe's right about there being two issues, how comfortable you are about people knowing their real names and then their digital footprint. I have no problem with the former and if you've met me you know my children's real names, but I do use pseudonyms on my blog because they were too little to have a say in whether I used their real name or not and because they have the same surname as me and because my professional profile is the top google hit for my real name so it just felt like it would make them a bit too discoverable. I think if you were desperate to know what I called my children you could find out by some careful cyberstalking but I'm comfortable with that level of anonymity. At the end of the day it's wherever you decide your comfort zone lies - and there's nothing to say you can't make a family only version of a video without the sound clipping - I've done that with mine before.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I honestly think a lot of people don't even realise that you use pseudonyms for your children, and I think it reads really nicely because they feel like their names, even though they actually aren't. I think at the moment (and for a while now) I have felt pretty comfortable with the idea of sharing their names, their faces so "out there" anyway. I just worry too much, and worry about future implications of outing them. x

      Delete
  21. Such an interesting post Lucy. I don't necessarily um and ah about their names online, but I do worry about the amount of photos I share of them and actually this has got worse since Mads has been at school. I have never been ridiculously strict about their names, if my blog has ever appeared in the press I will share the photo or link, or I won't edit it out if Mads mentions LL in a video, plus I know a few people accidentally mention their names on social media. But I am strict(ish) about it on my blog and actually that is getting a bit worse now they are older. Firstly as our blogs get more visibility and more presence online it means that more random people are finding them rather than just bloggers. Which is fine but I think with more people doing video and You Tube it means that blogs are being found a lot more. Also through Channel Mum I have done some videos which have featured the girls which have been embedded on the company FB page and received over 800,000 views- to me I just wouldn't want all those potential people finding out my children's names. I have also had my first couple of 'weird' people recently send me odd emails and things, which I know are just sickos but again it reinforces to me that because my surname is on my blog and I write under my proper name, I like the fact that no one could be able to google my children's names. I used to be more relaxed but now Mads is at school and gaining her own life away from us I feel that it is good that they don't have a digital footprint via their names. But I think only you can make the decision, like I said not necessarily with names but I often have wobbles about how many photos I share of them, especially now Mads is at school. We all have to make the decision as parents. Wow essay! xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We've talked about this a lot before haven't we? About your worries about photos. I know its a concern of yours that really preys on you at times, but honestly, sharing my photos doesn't bother me. I don't feel like sharing photos is any different than walking down the street with my children, and I don't think twice about that. And I just wonder whether I could slacken up on the whole name thing, partly because it feels so tricky and awkward to write sometimes without using their names.
      I think if I do then I will be careful not to put their first names and surnames together in text, that would prevent a lot of the googleability I think. And I wouldn't tag any of the photos with their names either. Oh.... I don't know! x

      Delete
  22. I'm on the other side of this having always used my children's names - I never intended for my blog to be public and certainly never expected people to read it. I was writing it for the kids to read when they were older, as a record of their childhood. By the time I had thought about anonymotiy and the possibility of using nicknames, it was already far too late. Sometimes I read blogs where, like you, I'm irritated by the nicknames or lack of names as they don't seem to work but then others I'm not bothered at all. I love the nicknames you use for your children and I've often said that if I were to go back to the begining perhaps I wouldn't have used their real names because like you I've worried about Google - but really their lives are out there aren't they. I can't take it back so there's no point regretting it. I'm careful not to give away information that would be "useful" to strangers and I certainly don't write anything they should be embarassed about . . .
    Sorry, this has almost become a blog post in it's own right hasn't it?! I very much doubt it has helped to clarify your thoughts either! x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahaha. I think for every person that uses names there is another who doesn't, and for every person who is happy with their decision, another isn't. It's just an interesting debate I guess, and the 'right' answer would seem to differ from blogger to blogger. x

      Delete
  23. I really want to start using my girls names instead of P1 P2 & P3 so tha fmg readers can engage better with us as a family. But I don't think that'll ever happen. Even my hubby is known as hubby. I honestly don't really know the deep reason as to why it's like this. It was to protect us but I've been recognised out and about and I have most of my blogging friends on personal Facebook so they know their names. Lots of questions.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's really difficult once you've started doing it one way to suddenly stop and do it another way, isn't it? I know I could suddenly just start using their names tomorrow if I wanted, but I'm just so conscious that I couldn't take it back once I did, and that I might come to regret it. x

      Delete
  24. Lucy I've thought a lot about this too! I have always used Ethans name because quite honestly I didn't expect anyone would ever read my blog. I set my blog up as a diary initially so I didn't even think about it! If I overthink it, I worry about using Ethan and Logans names, but then I think about it a little more and I realise that we're living in a digital world now. Most people have the Internet. SO many people create jobs from the internet. I don't know if it will ever be a 'thing' for them like we sometimes worry it would be.

    I've thought about school and people googling them.. but then really.. so what?! What can they say bad about what they find? They were loved and cared for and had a great childhood? Yeah that's such a bad thing! ;)

    I'm mindful about Ethan getting older and when it comes to photos and such, I do what HE is comfortable with. When he's not comfortable, I'll stop. If he wants me to, I'll delete the blog when he's older. But I hope we'd never get to that point. xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Like you I've always said that I would delete anything they didn't like without a second thought, and that if I ever want to stop featuring then thats fine. I'm just a little scared that if I were to start using their names then that deniability it's anything to do with them is harder when they are older. But then I love their names, and I'm not sure it makes that much difference using them or not using them. x

      Delete
  25. I worry about the future of my future child, and how the blog might affect them when they're teenagers and adults. My plan was always a single mention of the name when they were born and continue to use nicknames. But it depends on what my wife thinks.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think nicknames can work really well, but I just find the 'nicknames' I use a bit wordy at times. Because I don't actually really call them The Beautiful Boy, The Beautiful Girl and The Beautiful Little Girl in posts... instead I just try to find a millions different ways to avoid saying their real names with a variety of pet names. You have to do what feels best for your family I think, and I think that looks different for everyone. x

      Delete
  26. Ha ha I was expecting that at the end of the post you would have a great big reveal of all their names :D Oh well :D

    To be honest, I don't think anyone really cares this way or the other way. I just don't see the importance of names - I don't think there is any particular danger, and if there was, I'd sure as hell think that in that case it would be ill advised to put their pictures up on internet too. Blogging world is still very little (and I am talking also about mega bloggers) and not like celebrity world where I think it can be a good idea to keep your kids out of the limelight. Anyway, in terms of your blog, I think it is up to you and I am just as fine reading about your beautiful boy and beautiful girl or about Steven and Ella for example. It doesn't really make any difference to me.

    But that's just me. I use my own name, and my daughter's name on my blog, although I am careful not to use our last names. If you were so way inclined I am sure you could find out our full names through some cross referencing, but then again, what good would that do to anyone? Also, I am pretty sure that it is a lot more common to attract a stalker from "real life" than internet (if that's the worry) :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I don't think its the real life dangers that worry me, so much as it is my children's digital footprint, and the fact that if I use their names I suddenly give them a massive one before they are old enough to understand that. Five years (and counting) worth of blogging all about our family life currently isn't visible when you google my kids' names, but if I were to start using their names then that wouldn't be the case. x

      Delete
  27. It's such a back and forth with me too. At first it was safety, protection and privacy but years later we are everywhere like you said and if someone really wanted to find out the names I am sure my family as slipped up a few times too. I keep thinking should I just say there names but then it's nice because we do actually call B, Buba and MM Missy Moo in person so I think it's a lovely record in their nicknames. Although as they grow up I feel like their baby nicknames aren't growing with them so hving to call them B and MM feels weird but I didn't know where else to go with it without confusing readers or saying real names. Funny old thing isn't it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think because the names I've been using aren't actually nicknames that it feels harder somehow. I generally just try and find 100 different ways of talking about them without using their actual names. I'm just starting to think that maybe it wouldn't make that much difference to just use their names. x

      Delete
  28. The way I see it - a name is the first part of an identity a child ever receives, often before they're even born. We can know a person's name, but know nothing else about them. For example, a celebrity, a doctor, someone we had a crush on once at school! Identity is so much more than a name, it's all the quirks and characteristics that make up a person, their looks, their personality, and I think if you're sharing these things about your children on your blog, then why not their name, too? I am careful about not sharing our surname though, just as a little bit of privacy, because then people could potentially find out where my husband works, where we live etc etc, although I doubt anyone would want to! I suppose it just it what you feel comfortable with. Great post! x

    ReplyDelete
  29. It's really interesting to read this and read all of the comments too as I've been wondering the same. I don't share my boys' names but wondered if it's unnecessary to hide them x

    ReplyDelete
  30. Psst! Let me tell you MY big secret...on my blog, I call my kids 'Jenny' and 'Charis'. These are not their real names. But they sound plausible so nobody has ever asked! I also don't put photos of their faces on. My personal feeling is that, right now my kids are too young to make the decision whether they want a social media presence or not, so I need to keep it in a state that is not traceable to them. Nobody should be forced into something like this. I would hate it if someone started posting all about MY life without asking me. I think I'm pretty 'old school' thinking like this, and that lots of people will have different opinions. But that's mine. I hope you manage to find somewhere on the spectrum that works for you. #sharingthebloglove

    ReplyDelete
  31. I didn't announce my son on social media until he was 7 months old. No one online knew I was pregnant. I had "friends" on FB that I've not seen in years. I deleted them. It's since blogging that I have had the same feelings of wanting to protect him and his anonymity. I like you have got him plastered all over my blog, it's a blog about him, but I don't use his name. Infact he is the Robot. I often get asked why but I just throw out the anonymity card. I have a close group of blogger friends and I have told them his name, and they were like oh, thats why he's called the Robot. I have one blog post with his actual name on the blog. I don't think anyone will take the time to go and find it! It's a tough one! #sharethebloglove

    ReplyDelete
  32. This is a very interesting post! I don't write my children's names on my blog and wasn't going to publish them on any social media at all, but right after A was born my husband did announce it,and then again with E, and so most people know their names anyway! I might do a post in the future on how I chose their names as I love finding out why other people chose the names they did for their children. I don't mind people knowing, their faces are all over the place as it is like you say, and so their names would probably not be difficult to find out if someone really wanted to. Your children have beautiful names, wow! #SharingtheBlogLove

    ReplyDelete

Back to Top