meeting you, finding me

For Meeting You, Finding Me this week

we have something a little bit special.

You might remember that last week our guest blogger was Mary from Keynko.
And she wrote a beautiful post about becoming a mother to her son.
Well after the post went live last week
she decided that she really wanted to write another post
but for her daughter this time.
And I said that I would be more than happy to play host to her lovely words for a second time.

So here she is:


Writing about becoming a parent
and your brother being born has really made me think.
Having you was so different to having him.
I was older certainly
(5 whole years older),
and probably wiser,
but don’t tell everyone that - they might expect me to know what the hell I’m going on about!

Your arrival was very different to your brothers,
although you were both exactly the same size and weight.
There was no emergency,
no rushing about and sickly babies.
You were born and then in my arms.
Having never experienced that before it was a total shock to me,
the rush of emotion, hormones, whatever it is !
Wow - what a high that is!
I wonder if I could bottle and sell that sensation?
This time next year we could be millionaires....
Sorry I digress.

I was so shocked that your were a girl,
I mean totally baffled!
We were so sure you were a boy
(although it wasn’t possible to tell from scans at that point in history,
it was just a feeling)
But there you were with a mop of black hair
and the most beautiful blue eyes,
my little girl.



Almost at once we were left alone for a short time
(I’d had to wait 5 days for that with your brother)
and the same sensation of the vastness of my life over whelmed me.
What adventures we would have,
the places we would go,
the things you could achieve
and yes - the tears flowed.

Now I had 2 lives to be responsible for
and I understood my mothers struggles in an instant!
I always remember being so cross that my big brother was allowed to do things I wasn’t,
and then furious to be told - it’s different for girls -
How dare they! I’m big enough and tough enough to look after myself.
And now in that instant I knew
- it was different for girls -
sorry, but I was destined to tell you the same things!
The need to protect you from harm was so different to your brother,
concern that you would be hurt,
or left behind!
How ridiculous to feel that way
 (I have learnt you are more than capable of looking after yourself and telling me so!!)

The rollercoaster ride of parenting was no different though.
Despite my experience with your brother,
I still felt al those things everyday,
in fact ever minute of everyday.
The pride as you took your first steps caused a physical pain in my chest.
The sinking in the pit of my stomach
as you explained to me about the girls at school who had bullied you.
The horror and despair as you laid in a hospital bed.



And just this week, I arrived early to collect you from ballet
and crept into the back of the hall out of the rain.
There you were,
all elegance and grace and beauty.
There were the tears again,
what things you have achieved,
the places we have been,
the adventures we have had.

And still so many more to come.............

Another lovely tribute to one of her children
I'm sure you'll agree.

Thank-you so much for sharing again Mary.


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